Jupiter Ascending is a Perfect “Bad Movie Night” Candidate

Several months ago I wrote an article about a tradition my friends and I have called. “Bad Movie Night.” What, you ask, is Bad Movie Night all about?

Bad Movie Night is about bringing your friends together for a night filled with laughter, witty banter, and OMGs (Oh My Goshes). We hope to honor the people who created such gems as Anklebiters, Sharknado, The Happening, Rubber, Snakes on a Plane, Ultraviolet, and more recently Jupiter Ascending.

Overall, I’m a fan of the Wachowskis. I enjoyed The Matrix trilogy; even the second and third one that a lot of people hate on for some reason! V for Vendetta was decent enough, and at least Speed Racer looked cool. The Wachowskis seem to push the envelope of creativity in ways that few can match. Luckily for Bad Movie Night, they made Jupiter Ascending. Jupiter Ascending has so many Bad Movie Night staples it’s hard to list them all, but that won’t stop me from trying.

  • Animal / Human hybrid creatures
  • Dragon Lizards who submit to weak humanoids
  • Voice Modulation Disorder
  • Bees Recognizing Royalty
  • Crop Circle Origins
  • Channing Tatum as a Lone Werewolf/Gryphon
  • Masculine, Shirtless Space Skating
  • Sean Bean not dying
  • A protagonist with no character arc
  • Whole story lines you don’t care about
  • Plot conveniences
  • Orange Blue
  • the list goes on

Needless to say, I tip my hat to the Wachowskis for swinging for the fences. This movie was visually stunning and had several very cool action sequences. It’s worth watching at $2 from Redbox with a group of friends for the sole purpose of having fun. You probably won’t be having fun in the way the director’s initially intended, however. Jupiter Ascending was a waste of good acting talent, on a script that was a complete a hybrid rehash of Cinderella and The Matrix minus character development.

For all the rules of throwing a successful Bad Movie Night, see our How to: Bad Movie Night post. Leave us a comment with your experience!

What did you think of Jupiter Ascending? Do you agree or disagree with our assessment? Leave a comment below!

Bryce Cooley
I've been doing some form of ministry since 2000. For 13 years I was involved in the youth ministry at Cordova Neighborhood Church as everything from youth intern to youth pastor. God has led me and my lovely wife Bethany to Church of the Foothills where I currently reside as the Digital Publishing Coordinator. I'm excited to see where God leads my wife and I.
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Bryce Cooley
I've been doing some form of ministry since 2000. For 13 years I was involved in the youth ministry at Cordova Neighborhood Church as everything from youth intern to youth pastor. God has led me and my lovely wife Bethany to Church of the Foothills where I currently reside as the Digital Publishing Coordinator. I'm excited to see where God leads my wife and I.