Not very long ago, there was a young man who got drunk one night during a wild party and was involved in a car accident on his way home. He ran a red light and smashed into the side of another car crossing the intersection. The young man was fine, except for a couple of bruises, but all the passengers in the other were killed except for the father, who was driving. The young man could hardly sleep for the two weeks before the trial, especially after he found out that the father is a very influential judge. He was filled with remorse, and decided to write a letter to the father, telling him how sorry he was. On the morning of the trial, while getting ready for court, he got a phone call, stating that all charges against him have been dropped. He could not believe it. He decided to celebrate and called up his friends to meet him at the bar. On his way there, a little old lady ran into the back of him. The accident was very minor, just a small bump, but he got out his car and started to scream at the lady. He cursed her, swore to sue her for everything she’s got and even threatened to come to her house and kill her. It is then the passenger got out of her car. He went pale when he saw it was the father of the family he had killed. He and his mother were on the way to the graveyard where his family was buried. The young man did not know what to say; he was too ashamed. The father did not say a word. He reached into the car, picked up his phone, and made a call. A short while after that the police arrived at the scene and took the young man into custody. After that a special hearing was held just for him. He was sentenced for life in a high-security prison, to be locked up with the nastiest criminals in the state. The young man was tortured by these prisoners until the day he died.
The story may sound slightly familiar to some; it is the story of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35 with a slightly different spin. In this case it can be compared that the young man owed the father $100,000,000 and the little old lady owed him $10, and after being dismissed his debt of $100,000,000, he would not dismiss the lady’s debt of $10. It is the same with our sins against the Lord and the sins of others against us. We will never be able to understand the full extent of our sins until we die, but I’ll rather trust God and forgive others than face the wrath of God. Note verses 34 and 35:
 "In anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he could repay the entire debt.  This is how my heavenly Father will treat each one of you unless you forgive your brother from your hearts." (ISV)
Jesus says in Matt 6:14-15 that we must pray that the Lord forgive us as we forgive others. It is a command that we must forgive everyone. It is not optional. This does not apply only to certain scenarios. It applies from someone accidentally bumping into you, to extreme cases of girls who are raped.
When you forgive another person, you do not set them free. You set yourself free. When you "hold something against something", for example, holding a chair against a wall, it takes up energy and makes you tired. The same goes for holding something against another person. You are the one that is getting tired, the other person probably doesn’t even know that you hold this grudge and he is happily going on with his life. You are one that is suffering.
Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. You will never feel like forgiving someone. That is why it is important that you realize the significance of forgiveness in your own life. Someone may have ruined 10 years of your life because of what they have done to you. Keep a grudge, and they will ruin the rest of it. Not only that, but you will never be redeemed from your sins, and you will stand stained and dirty before the Lord when you die. You will never be free from pain in your life if you do not learn to forgive.
How do I forgive? Like I already said, forgiveness is a choice. You can however pray that God will help you forgive, maybe by helping you realizing the extent of your own sins. Jesus said to forgive someone even if they offend you seventy times seven times. This does not mean that you should only forgive someone 490 times. This means that you should forgive them every time (you should however get out of abusive relationships). Forgiveness is the release of your offender every time thoughts of hate and payback cross your mind, joined with thanks to the Lord Jesus that you are forgiven. You can not calculate the weight of your sins that Jesus carried on the cross ” do not try to compare $10 to $100,000,000. I can not stress enough, that on the scale from $10 to $100,000,000, murder, rape and theft is as close to $10 as rudeness and disrespect.
Let God handle the judgment. Forgiveness is not telling everybody that you forgive the person but praying by yourself that God will send him to hell! It is about releasing the person from vengeful thoughts, praying that the person will turn to the Lord, and focusing your thoughts on Jesus and the price He paid for your forgiveness on the cross. It may take some time and effort, but don’t let these things be a stumbling block for your personal salvation.