Hey everyone, I felt like I needed to share something with everyone, because it's been bottled up in me this past week and I need to let it out.
This past year, I've been through a lot, drinking, girls, depression, no job, kicked out of houses, etc etc.. which has led to a lot of bitterness to God, and the whole thing. I've been seeking something this past year, and I never got it. recently I've been going to a bible study my friend put on, and it's really opening my eyes. we just read James, and let me tell you, if you havent read this short little book in the new testiment, you need to asap. James words are so blunt but they hit hard, and they hit in the right places.
I'd like you to read James 4:1-12 real fast, before continuing this.
Wow, isnt that a kick in the head? (asuming you've read it.) How could I, how could We be so foolish?
"You adulterous people, don't you know friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God" – James 4:4 So many things we let slip in, so many things we dont even realize, making us enemies to God. I for one never thought I was an enemy to God, when I spent my last 5$ on a couple of 40's of malt liquor no more than a month ago. I thought just because I knew God and respected the cross, it made me indestructable.
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you doubleminded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." – James 4:7-10
Isnt that the truth? When I came back to God, it consisted of two words. I sat in my room, and put on some praise and worship.. Skillet praise and worship album to be exact. I just sat and listened for a song or two, remembering my old days when I was on fire for Christ, then after a while, I found myself crying.. harder and harder.. eventualy I just threw myself back, and just screamed out, two words. "I'm sorry" over and over, I was so ashamed I covered my face and just cried and cried. Repeating the words I'm sorry. In that moment, I felt like I was 100 ounds lighter, and I felt a warmth like nothing I have ever experienced. I felt as if God was smiling at me, like he was standing right in front of me, laughing, calling out, Zach! You're home! I'm so happy to see you! Rather than condeming me, pointing out my mistakes, He took me in His arms and just hugged me and welcomed me back.
I urge you, no matter what is going on, what you are going through, whatever you are involved with.. Do not give out on God. Oh please no. I know now, how important He is, how much He cares and how meaningless this life is without Him. God will always be here waiting for you, if it takes you fifty years, He'll be waiting at the door, with His arms out, with the bigest smile on His face, welcome home son or daughter. Welcome home.
I thank you for reading this, and if you have any questions, or would just like to talk to someone who is willing to listen. Contact me. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org