It was a good year in movies. There were tons of movies I wanted to add to my Top Ten Favorites list that I couldn’t. Unfortunately, it wasn’t all good at the cinema this year. Here is a list, in no particular order because who really cares, of the Top 10 mostly terrible movies in 2014.
Granted it’s not the worst piece of “faith-based” cinema I’ve ever seen, but it was the worst movie I saw this year. Bad CG, terrible acting and dialogue, and a very thin, if non-existent, Christianity made this movie laughable at best. Also, they kicked a little person down a slide… yes, that happened.
The Legend of Hercules
Not to be confused with the closely released Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Hercules film. The Legend of Hercules is full of bad acting from pretty people in low-budget costumes worthy of a high school drama department. Some okay battles made it tolerable, I think, I forgot most of it…
The Expendables 3
Just give up guys. The geriatrics 3 has taken what was once a fun nostalgic idea and turned it into an eye-rolling franchise. Stop buying tickets to these movies and they’ll stop making them. Money talks.
As a closet fan of the Underworld film franchise, recognizing it got worse as time went on, I don’t say this lightly. I, Frankenstein makes the Underworld movies look great. Yes, it had cool action and the special effects weren’t terrible, but the story was lame and the acting, though full of good actors, was not good. I wish it could have lived up to the comic book source material.
Based off of the original French Parkour film District B13 Brick mansions was an unnecessary American remake. Paul Walker, RIP, is a likable guy but he didn’t always make the best movie choices and this is a shining example of that. Skip Brick Mansions, watch District B13 and enjoy mindless parkour action from the creator of modern parkour David Belle.
Transformers: Age of Extinction
Explosions. Explosions. Metal Shards. Explosions. Cars. Girls. Explosions. Boom. Girls. Cars. Cars. Explosions. Boom. China. Dinosaurs. Boom. Cars. Explosions. The End.
Though I appreciate the story behind the film and the first 45 minutes aren’t half bad. Tusk quickly descends from chilling to silly and downright uncomfortable. Maybe that’s your thing. If so, you have a weird thing and should make different life choices. If nothing else Tusk may be worth watching because it’s so weird.
The Protector 2
The Sequel to one of my favorite martial arts films of 2005, the Protector 2 doesn’t even come close to it’s former glory. Sure it’s funny to ironically have the RZA in your movie; it worked for Brick Mansions didn’t it? Oh wait, that’s on this list too. The Protector 2 was a sloppy mess of bad green screen, forgettable and many times laughable fight sequences, and a worse story than the first. Watch Protector 1, and pretend this one does not exist.
There are few things worse than comedy that doesn’t make you laugh. I loved the first Anchorman but this one lost me. But hey, at least the previews were funny.
Limitless meets the Matrix, what could go wrong? It turns out quite a lot. Lucy was a mess of a film thematically borrowing from pseudo-science and philosophy in an attempt to make a compelling thriller. Really it boiled down to a protagonist that you couldn’t relate to, who couldn’t be killed by bad guys that you didn’t care about. Hooray… Also, what was up with that ending… dumb.
So that’s my list, what’s on yours? Please share below!